Friday, March 23, 2012

Radio Silence

I've been having an internal struggle regarding the launching of this new blog over the last month, hence the radio silence while I quietly grappled with it. I'm not sure what it is about me, but I always do this... get super GUNG! HO! about something new and rush full-steam-ahead with it with no regard for pacing myself, only to (obviously!) run out of power, ideas, or desire.

It's not in my nature to want to do things anything at half power, and blogging is no  exception. I can't muster the energy or commitment to post every day, so I just didn't post at all. Can someone explain to me why once or twice a week seems so ludicrous to me? I suffer from this same predicament when it comes to healing my back from its herniated disc... I want to go all out exercising or else just sit on the couch for a year until I can.

But I am slowly learning about moderation, in all aspects of my life, and it's a good time for this lesson. Really, this utter avoidance of things I want to do if I can't give them 100% is about fear of failure. I've felt like a failure so often in the last few years that I'm not sure my heart can take it if I add any more endeavours to the pile, so best not to try, right? But come on now, we're talking about blogging... there is no failing at something I do for fun. Maybe if I allow myself to just enjoy writing for the sake of participating in blogging, I can consider that a success, even if I'm not Winning At The Internet.

I am not going to commit to any posting frequency. But I will commit to blogging. I know this is one of my passions. I feel like I'm living a fuller life when this is part of my life. I need a creative outlet; I want my story to be heard, I want to connect with others. I want this little dusty corner of my own on the Internet. I want to pretty it up and may even do just that in the near future.

Please say hello so I know who's out there!


  1. Hello! I'm not a blogger, but I'm an avid reader. I agree with you, there's no reason to be afraid of doing something new or anything even if you're not able to put 100% behind it. If you enjoy it or it enriches your life, do it, if it's supposed to be in your life then things will work out.

    It would also be nice if you kept writing, as from what I've read you've got a great writing style and I'd love to see more from you.

  2. Hey you! I think one of the hurdles of blogging is feeling like if you don't have enough to say, then why bother? But I think the best way to go about blogging regularly is to plan on only writing about a small topic at a time -- aiming for just 1 or 2 paragraphs. And see where that leads you. You might find you have more to say once you get going. Keep at it, girl!

  3. AWest - thank you for reading and for your compliments!

    Jules - I should take that to heart because you are a pro at finding time to update frequently. That's a good way of looking at it. 1 - 2 paragraphs is not an overwhelming goal. And come on, when have I ever been able to write just 2 paragraphs? It always ends up being longer but I think my hurdle is just getting started.